Super Stealth Mode

We’ve all been there – driving home after spending an afternoon somewhere, anxious to get the kids bathed and to bed. There’s really no time for stopping – the sooner we get there, the sooner the evening routine can get started. Of course, this is more for our benefit than the kids most times but it’s not like I’m keeping score.

Tonight was one of those nights. We were leaving Grandma & Grandpa’s – I reminded the kids to please use the washroom before we left. They were all adamant they did not have to go. We piled into the truck and started on our 15 minute long journey.  Five minutes into our trek and the wails of “I have to go to the bathroom” began.  Of course he couldn’t hold it. That bladder was like a water balloon on the edge – one wrong bump and well, someone was gonna get soaked.

And so began ‘Operation Stealth Mode’. You know, when you stop in at a place of business just to do ‘your’ business, not wanting to take advantage of anything they might have to offer – like coffee, or donuts. I always feel guilty doing this. 

Of course, by the time we got to ‘the place’, another of our children was going to die if she didn’t go pee RIGHT NOW. I looked at them with my ‘dumb look’ and asked why on earth they didn’t go before we left Grandma & Grandpa’s? I was hit with “Well, I didn’t know I had to go”, “I thought I could make it home”, and spoken quite sanctimoniously, “well, I don’t need to go – I’m good” (This last comment changed when he saw his brother and sister getting out of the truck. Apparently kids getting out of a truck will stimulate bladder activity in the one left behind).

I reminded them to just go in, use the washroom, and come out – keeping quiet so as not to draw attention to themselves. Then I sent my husband with them. I get to do things like this all the time – I figured he might as well get to have some fun for a change. You know, because I’m thoughtful like that.

The boys were quick and back out to the truck within a minute. I’m pretty sure they didn’t wash their hands, but as they pointed out, I never told them they had to. I saw my husband waiting by the washroom door for my daughter. Several minutes went by and they finally got back in the truck.

Once we were on our way home, my husband relayed that the entire time our daughter was in the bathroom, she entertained the restaurant patrons with a stunning acoustic version of “Little Bunny Foo Foo” at the top of her lungs. She then ran out of the bathroom and to the window where our truck was parked and began banging on it and screaming “Hey Mommy! Mom!” Every patron of the restaurant was staring at them as they walked outside. 

Apparently, she will not do well with covert operations unless she has further training. I think I’ll let her father take care of that.



Written by:

Cheryl Talma

I am a stay at home Mom of four beautiful children (1 big, 3 little) living in Central Alberta. In our house, there are many adventures . . . check out my blog, Gin & Tonic for the Mother’s Soul to tag along!

or you can find me on Twitter at @GTMothersSoul.